During Divorce, I Provide Parents: 

• Guidance for difficult situations, such as telling the children about divorce

• Information regarding the process and skills to transition from spouses to coparents effectively

• Support for productive parenting discussions, even about difficult issues and differences

• Skills and strategies to increase children's healthy coping from divorce to living in two homes

• Information about how development may influence your children's adjustment to divorce and their residential schedule needs

• A neutral, appropriate way to assess your children's coping, hear their perspectives and needs for support

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For Coparents, I Provide:

• Consultation on skills & practices that help renegotiate ineffective parenting roles and relationship patterns 

• Feedback to promote communication protocols that meet your kids needs across two homes. 

• Support safer and more productive discussions around difficulties in parenting that effect your kid's daily life or big goals

• Offer suggestions on skills and strategies to increase your children's healthy development across two homes

• Provide neutral, informed professional feedback as you explore ideas and options when considering changes to your parenting plan or other decisions that directly effect your children and parenting

• Suggest ways to create clearer, transparent, effective roles and  boundaries to improve your coparenting relationship

• Meet with your children to gather their perspectives and assess their coping in an neutral and safe way to support your coparenting and parenting goals 

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Think of me as a consultant and communication facilitator. I have experience and expertise in child development, parenting, coparenting and the unique challenges of divorce and living as a two-home family.

 

The main difference between the Divorce Child Specialist and Coparent Child Specialist is where you are in the process. Because there are legal issues to consider, I do have specific contracts for "Collaborative", "Cooperative" (any other type of divorce process) and "Coparenting" services. However whatever the process or situation,  the tenants of the CS approach remain; neutrality, transparency, a commitment to reducing adversarial conflict and promoting parent cooperation and children's wellbeing. 

 

My services can range from meeting with one coparent  to meeting with parents jointly, and/or including children (mindfully and appropriately) in the process. Clients can be anywhere in the process; from seeking general information about divorce or coparent communication and practices to seeking consultation on a specific challenge or decision making issue. Parents may desire adult sessions only or want to include their children's perspective but also avoid exposing them to adult conflict and decision making.  Finding the best plan for services may be part of the first sessions' discussion, however I have some important boundaries I maintain in my work to keep kids safe, minimize unproductive conflict and clarify expectations for what I can offer: 

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Important Boundaries I Maintain in my Child Specialist Work: 

Child Sessions:

• I meet with children with the age and capacity to understand and share verbally (typically 6+).

• To include children, I need both parents authorization and participation in the joint sessions. This is to avoid miscommunications or misinterpretations, which increase conflict and challenge the benefit of children sharing. 

• I meet with children once, individually, without parents present, to gather their "voice" or perspectives. The meeting is not therapy, and I maintain my role as a Child Specialist and do not diagnose or treat any condition.

• Children are made aware of the purpose of the visit and informed it is to help their parents understand how to best support their coping and two-home routines. Children are allowed share as much or as little as they wish and to determine what information is shared with their parents.  

• When children are included in the process, it is typically a 1, 2, 3 step process; I meet with parents together for an initial session to understand needs and goals as well as ensure ability to "hear" children's perspectives respectfully. I then proceed with individual child session(s). Lastly we (adults only) meet so I may disclose and parents can discuss strategies for support. 

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Adult Sessions:​

• Coparent coaching is not couples counseling, I won't try and make you friends, I won't insist that you agree with each other or with me and I am not evaluating your parenting.  I will likely make direct suggestions and observations, but you can decide for yourself what you take with you. I am solution-focused, meaning I focus on how to fix, rather than spending too much time on stories about what went wrong. 

• I do work with coparents individually. However if you choose to schedule individually, joint sessions will not typically be a future option, given the issues related to neutrality and need for transparency.

• I maintain a neutral role and I ask you to do the same. If I am working with you jointly, please cc your parenting partner on all of our communications. I do not hold any important/significant information from you or your parenting partner. I want both of you to feel safe and know important information is shared and my role is as a neutral support focused on your family.  

• Individual communication or sessions may be part of the process if agreed upon by both parents and seen as beneficial to joint goals. 

• Infrequently, individual communication (emails/calls sent from a parent or initiated by Kristin) may occur to address individual concerns/issues, while these communications are best kept to a minimum, they may be important to maintain engagement, and provide timely support. I reserve the right to decline or address the email or phone call as I feel appropriate to meet the goals and needs of the family and may not disclose the communication if not seen as significant/important information. Individual support is not an indication that I agree or align with one parent, but instead is meant to offer needed parent specific support for overarching goals. 

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Limitations of my Role and Skills: ​

• I do not make any written report that is shared with parents regarding their children's disclosures, but share this information verbally to both parents. The information shared is confidential and protected. 

• While I have skills in managing conflict and supporting safer and more productive communication, I work best with parents who are able to process and use new information and direction. I may refer higher conflict coparenting to professionals who specialize in parenting coordination and high conflict mediation. 

• I do not assert any power in decision making but rather offer information and feedback directly based on my skills in best coparenting practices, child development and needs of children in divorce and two-home families. Parents are ultimately responsible for making decisions for their family.

• I am not a legal professional and do not give legal advice or act as a legal mediator. I can give referrals to legal professionals or work with your mediator or attorneys to provide child and coparenting context to your legal process.    ​

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Scheduling for Child Specialist Coaching: 

If you are a potential new coaching client, I would ask you send an email with some information regarding your children and ages, current needs, and stage of any process you might be involved, so I might better understand how I can help. I'll get back to you quickly with a confirmation to schedule or feedback about other services or resources which might be more appropriate for your needs. 

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Forms for Child Specialist Coaching: 

If you're a new client, I will be sending you all the documents you need electronically through the online client portal. The portal is a confidential way for us to schedule, share documents and message. It is also set up to allow us to meet securely via telehealth (online) sessions if desired. You may wish to look over the contracts we may be using: ​

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• Collaborative Child Specialist Contract  (for those in a formal Collaborative Divorce process)

• Cooperative Child Specialist Contract  (if you are not in a formal Collaborative Divorce process or aren't sure) 

• Coparent Child Specialist Contract   (for post-divorce clients)

 

Additional Information

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